


Sliding into Home

by DRiver2U



Series: Sliding into Home [1]
Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: Baseball, Coincidences, F/M, Gen, Love, Minor League Baseball, Orphans, Pilots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 03:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11432499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DRiver2U/pseuds/DRiver2U
Summary: Veronica heads to Visalia, California, for minor league baseball games. While there, she finds some LoVe at the ballpark.





	Sliding into Home

**Author's Note:**

> I have been wanting to write a story about baseball, so this is my attempt to put Veronica and Logan in a baseball setting. I have taken liberties with the plot and setting, but there really is a minor league team in Visalia, California, not far from Lemoore. This story is a bit long, but I decided not to divide it into chapters. It does not connect with any other works I have written. All mistakes are mine and characters belong to RT. Not canon.

She wants to yank his fantasies away from him, shake him into realism. She suffocates her elitist thoughts about Stanford alumni statistics, prestigious graduate programs, and starting salaries and instead thinks about hard empty seats, the scent of stale beer, and the crackling of scattered peanut shells. Heckling fans, rain delays, and shared showers are what he wants, and she knows it's wrong of her to convince him to squash his dreams. 

He's only a few years younger than Veronica, but she's as close to a parent as he has. That's not saying much, she realizes. She's been a student at Stanford longer than she had anticipated. Her undergraduate degree in psychology led her to their graduate program in public policy. It was as an undergraduate when she became involved with her professor, first as a student and later as his partner. She had loved Sai, but she doubted long-term romance was in their future. Veronica's plans were to graduate from Stanford, study at Oxford, with or without a Rhodes scholarship, and spend her adult life living abroad and working in public policy. Sai's death sent her life spiraling. 

Sai's 17-year old son needed stability. His ex-wife died from cancer when Mateo was only 7 years old. The divorced parents had not had an amicable split, but they vowed to raise a confident, curious boy. Ten years later, that young man headed to Stanford himself, both as a top scholar and baseball prospect. He wasn't ready to leave the town that had nurtured him, and he turned down scholarships at Vanderbilt, Duke, and Maryland. Veronica sealed her fate by entering the Stanford law school program, allowing Mateo a base in Palo Alto and herself the opportunity to attend every home baseball game. She gave up her goals to focus on Mateo's dreams. 

Mateo Khan is an unusual name for anyone, but especially in minor league baseball. He graduated top of his class in economics. Of course, he chose the major both of his immigrant parents had studied. His Spanish minor was in honor of his mother and the songs and stories she wove into his life as a small child. Veronica hoped he would go to the University of Chicago to pursue a PhD in economics, but he didn't bother to apply to graduate schools. He wanted to keep playing baseball and entered the draft, despite her reservations. The good thing was, he was drafted. The bad thing was, he was drafted. There was no million dollar signing bonus, no guarantee of major league stardom, no hordes of autograph seekers before games. Instead, there are months of smelly buses, months of cheap hotels, months of barely living above the poverty level, and months of off-season. 

They've heard every joke there is, but they always smile and offer a polite chuckle when someone recites one to them. The worst one for him to hear is "Why do orphans make terrible baseball players? Because they don't know where home is." The crudest isn't so much a joke as an innuendo. "Is he a pitcher or a catcher?" He's a catcher. He likes the overview of the field, the rapport of working next to umpires, the calling of pitches. And he's good. There's no way Veronica can deny that he's good. And he loves it. He's doing what he loves and he's good at it, but Veronica knows how fleeting and sparse his current life is. She reminds herself every day that he loves it. Allow this young man to love what he does for a few years of his life. The big leagues are a pipe dream, but she agrees to let him dream on. 

Veronica's law school classes are finished, and she spends her days studying for the California bar exam. Most summer nights she live streams Mateo's games and keeps up with his statistics. They talk following every game - win, lose, or draw. No, there's no draw in baseball; it's always a win or a loss, and he's learned to take the losses with the wins. The team losses are easier to handle than the personal setbacks. 

Last year, he went from Rookie League to A ball. He wound up living with a host family outside of Chicago when he played for the Kane County Cougars. Veronica had to admit she was jealous that another family spent so much time with Mateo. Deep down, however, she was glad he was cared for by people who seemed to respect Mateo's obsession and dedication. He did well the first year. He was liked by the other players and his coaches. Sociability is wonderful, but it doesn't move a player up to the next league. That's what practice, practice, practice is all about, and he's lived it for years. He started this year back in Geneva, Illinois, with the same host family, but he moved up to High A within the first couple of months of the season's start. High A means a return to California, to what he calls the Desert League. 

Visalia, California. The 3 1/2-hour drive from Palo Alto takes her from Trader Joe's to the farms that supply Trader Joe's. She has three nights reserved at the Hampton Inn, and she insists that Mateo stay with her. She's booked separate rooms because she knows how energized he is following games and his need to spend several hours coming down before sleeping. She's anxious to see how the hotel handles his all-he-can-eat breakfast routine. 

"Rawhide." What does that even mean? How can a mascot be the skin of an animal? Would a team name itself fur or skin? Veronica tries not to analyze it too long. She understands naming a team the Cougars, but Rawhide makes no sense to her. She knows she will end up buying an infuriating Rawhide hat, but her Cougar cap continues to be her hat of choice when she's out for her daily run. 

He offers to leave a comp ticket for her at the ticket office, but she feels better when she pays and supports his team. She is at the stadium when the gates open an hour before the game. If her luck holds, she will be able to talk to him before the game starts. It's been too long, Veronica thinks, since she's been able to hug the kid who envelopes her with his strong shoulders, 9 extra inches in height, and 60 additional pounds. Her preferred seat is the front row behind home plate so she can see what he sees. This seat, however, is rarely available to non-season ticket holders. Instead, she takes a box seat down the third base line in the front row as close to the dugout as she can get. She'll be able to wink at him after every inning. 

**********

All-American Friday. Military Appreciation Night. Tickets for Teens. All these promotions to entice visitors to a minor league baseball game on a hot summer night, and Veronica still pays full price for her ticket. Although she isn't sure why she isn't considered "All-American," she doesn't fight the ticket seller. She is content to take a full-priced seat armed with her phone and earbuds to help relax her during the game. She's never been able to get over the tension she feels whenever Mateo is on the field. 

When she finds her seat, she spots Mateo in his pure white uniform and waves with her fingers as he looks towards the stands. She knows how quickly his jersey and pants will be dirtied. "Matty-o," she sings to him as she knocks his glove through the safety netting. 

"Mama Mars," he grins. "I'm starting tonight. Touch my head for luck." 

"You don't need luck. You've got skills," she recites to him in their pre-game ritual begun a few years ago when an announcer failed to pronounce his name correctly. "Good to see you, kid." 

"I've missed you, Double M," he says and looks back at the field. "Can't talk long. I've gotta show 'em I mean business."

"I know, I know. All work with you. We'll talk later. And remember, there's no crying in baseball," she says before touching is sweaty hair.

Mateo groans at her way of ending their pre-game encounter. "You've got to come up with something less dated. You're embarrassing yourself." He scans her quickly and looks at her green Cougars cap. "Wrong hat, by the way." He turns and runs back to the field to warm his arm and continue his stretching routine. 

Veronica makes her way to the concourse to buy a program. She never tires of seeing his face and name in print. 6:15 and she is already in need of her first bottle of cold water. She walks around the stadium getting a feel for the layout, the fans, and the employees. Mateo will be happy here, she assures herself. By 6:45, she is back in her seat listening to an Icelandic band that Mateo discovered recently. The starting rosters, the national anthem, the ceremonial first pitch. All games begin the same way. Baseball is a game of routines, interrupted occasionally by rain. 

The stadium is alive with families on the June Friday night. The sounds of crying, laughing, clapping, and organ music make every baseball outing the same. Yet, every night is a new experience. No pitch is the same. No hit is made to the exact same spot on the same count. Even the beer and peanuts taste differently given the temperature and humidity of the night. 

Over the years, she has learned to keep her thoughts to herself as she watches Mateo play. She doesn't offer "good throw" or "nice hit" during the game. She lets him do his job, and she tries to restrain herself from side-eyeing the guy two seats down who jeers when Mateo strikes out in the bottom of the second. She gives him a wink as he catches her eye. Two innings down, 7 to go, and Veronica heads out to find more cold water. 

She notices the families decked out in navy shirts and caps. Must be the military appreciation night, she thinks. She does a double take at the guy standing in the cotton candy line holding the hand of a blond toddler before heading back to her seat. 

**********

Three innings later, jovial music plays over the speakers in the stadium, and the scoreboard lights up with the names of companies hosting picnics, couples celebrating anniversaries, and individuals counting years. Veronica knows her greeting will be written in lights. It's the inside joke he makes to acknowledge her presence. "VERONICA MARS - HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY - ENJOY YOUR FIRST BEER - LOVE, MAK." Tomorrow, he will have a new, likely inaccurate, message lighting up the night. She takes out her phone and snaps a picture of the board before it changes to the next greeting. 

Logan catches a glimpse of the scoreboard and sees the name. _What the fuck? First, Veronica Mars could not be in Visalia. Second, Veronica Mars is far from 21 years old. Third, Veronica Mars is too uncommon of a name for it to be anyone except her. Fourth, it's not Veronica's birthday. Fifth, who the hell is MAK?_ He scans the seats looking for a blond, his blond as he still thinks of her, and unhooks the hands of the little girl dangling from his neck and plops her down in the seat next to his. "I'll be back," he says as he's already out of his chair. 

He has no good idea how to go about finding her in the crowd if, indeed, it is her. It has always amazed him how people could randomly bump into each other years later or in foreign countries, but they could also miss meeting each other when the time and place are pre-arranged. The damned universe is so unpredictable. 

He walks the passageway between the 100 and 200 level seats looking right and left for Veronica. If she's in the stadium, she could be anywhere - Kids Corral, Pasture Seating, Saloon, even the press box. If he could think of a clever excuse, he could ask them to do an announcement that she's needed in the front office. As he nears the end of the walkway, he sees a petite blond in the front row. She seems focused on the game, but she's also hooked into her phone and taps her fingers on her empty water bottle. The half-inning ends as he watches her acknowledge the catcher ever so slightly with her trigger head tilt, and he swears she gives him a wink. _Is Veronica Mars chasing after a minor leaguer? Did she convince some minor league player she's only 21 years old? Is she on some elaborate ruse as a private detective? Is she with the FBI to break up a gambling ring and those aren't earbuds but feeds from the feds in a white van parked outside the stadium?_ Nothing is beyond belief with Veronica Mars. 

She excuses herself to the people in her row and makes her way out of the box seats. Her phone is in her pocket and earbuds are still in place. He stares at her as she leaves the seating area and follows her into the concession concourse. He thinks she's hardly changed in the years since they've last seen each other and realizes she could pass for 21. She's wearing belted linen shorts and a sleeveless top. She's not carrying a purse and reaches for cash from the pocket not holding her phone. Bottled water. No hard stuff for her. She takes the cold bottle and runs it across her forehead before twisting the cap off the bottle. He knows he needs to acknowledge her before he becomes little more than a stalker, but if she is on a job, he doesn't want to give her away.

"Veronica." She keeps walking back towards the seating area. "Veronica." She stops, but only to adjust her sandal. Without a purse on her shoulder, he's pretty sure she isn't carrying a taser or pepper spray, so he has the courage to tap her shoulder. She turns and looks at him, guarded and without a smile. She pulls the earbuds from her ears. 

"Can I help you?" she asks as she shades her eyes from the sinking sun directly behind his head. She steps to the side, but her eyes are still adjusting to the previous contact with the sun. 

"Veronica."

"Logan?" 

"I saw your name on the scoreboard. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but unless you've invented a personal time machine, you're hardly celebrating your 21st birthday."

"Inside joke," she smiles. "Wow, what are you doing in Visalia?" 

"Military family night."

"Right," she pauses and crinkles her nose. "Sorry, what does that have to do with Logan Echolls being in Visalia at a minor league baseball game?" 

"Navy. Pilot. Lemoore." 

"You've living in Lemoore and you're a navy pilot?" Veronica looks around wondering if Wallace is hiding in the shadows laughing at the hilarious prank. 

"Right. Military family night at the ballpark. We're always looking for good, wholesome, cheap fun. Haven't you heard that about pilots?" 

"Can't say that I have. I had the impression you like to spend time singing ballads to pretty girls in bars." Logan rolls his eyes at the _Top Gun_ reference. Veronica looks at Logan's cropped hair and his tight physique and can almost believe he is in the military. "Wow, it's so weird to see you here. But it's great seeing you. It's been too long. We should catch up some time." She looks over her shoulder to take her leave. There's nothing more to say, yet so much more to say. 

"Wait. Why are you here?" 

"Smuggling the catcher snickerdoodles."

"Is that code for something? Are you on some kind of a job?"

Veronica laughs. "Nothing so exciting, I'm afraid, but it does sound like code, doesn't it?" She takes a sip of her water. "He's the one who put that crazy message on the board. Does it all the time trying to embarrass me." 

"I'm sorry. Who's he?"

"The catcher. Mateo Khan. I'm here to watch him play. He's back in California after being promoted from the Midwest League."

"Right." He looks at her and narrows his eyes. "Who's Mateo Khan? I'm missing something."

"Well, that's a bit complicated. Short story is that," she points towards the field, "tonight's starting catcher is my surrogate kid." 

"I know you're not 21, but there is also no way you could be the catcher's mother." 

"I told you it's complicated. Surrogate, is the key word." She pauses before realizing his previous statement. "Oh, you said you're here for military family night. That must mean you're here with your family." She pauses again before looking back at him. "Hey, earlier tonight I thought I saw someone I knew. Were you waiting in line for cotton candy with a little towhead? And not, me. I'm not the little blond I saw you with."

"Guilty. And my sticky shirt is proof of the cotton candy." 

"Is that your daughter with the sweet tooth?"

"No, I'm here with my buddy and his kids. His wife had something going on, so he dragged me here." 

" _Dragged_ to the ballpark. Prefer to have your fun a little less wholesome?"

"I prefer to spend my down time not surrounded by military families. Get enough of that. Don't need to spend Friday night doing it too." 

"So, no military family?"

"Not of my own. I just tag along with someone else's to get the discount."

"They didn't offer me a discount. I tried batting my eyes and everything. I must be losing my touch."

"Maybe you should have given them your famous head tilt."

"I'll try that tomorrow night and see how it works."

"You'll be back for tomorrow night's game?"

"They have a 3-game home stretch, so I'm here until Monday morning." 

"Could we get together while you're here? Talk somewhere more comfortable? Catch up?" Logan glances at her ringless hands. "Of course, Mateo's dad is welcome. I don't want to make things uncomfortable." 

"Both of his parents died. Thus, the surrogate part of the equation."

"Shit, I'm sorry about that." Logan wonders if it's now inappropriate to continue his train of thought but continues tentatively. "Look, we could get lunch tomorrow or get a drink after the game. Do you have time to see me again while you're here?"

"I don't think drinks after the game will work. I'll be with Mateo." She pulled her phone out of her pocket. "A late lunch tomorrow would probably be OK. Mateo needs to get to the field mid-afternoon. I can take your number and call you tomorrow." 

"Take my number, but how about if I meet you at your hotel at 1:00? Where are you staying?" 

"Why don't we just meet at a restaurant? And 1:00's a little early. I have to get Mateo to the field by 2:00."

"No problem. I know you love Italian. There's a place called Rosa's. How about 3:00?"

"That's good. Then I could still get to the field by 6:00." 

"Right. Let me get your number. I'll text you just to make sure we're set for tomorrow." Logan pauses and types her number into his phone. "God, it's great to see you. You look incredible, Mars." 

"You too, Logan. See you tomorrow." 

**********

Veronica takes her place in the front row in time for the Rawhides to bat in the 7th. She misses the mid-inning singing, but she doesn't mind. Her brain rattles with the thought of Logan. Mateo is on deck, though, so Veronica adjusts her mindset and focuses again on the game. 

First batter walks. Mateo takes the first pitch outside. The second pitch is a fastball down the middle for a strike. Veronica watches the catcher set and tap his glove on the ground and knows it will be a fastball on the inside corner. It arrives high and inside. Mateo connects and it flies. The homerun boosts the Rawhides ahead. As he returns to the dugout, he catches Veronica's eyes as she stands clapping. "For you," he mouths. She can't suppress the pride and she winks and smiles at him while continuing to clap. 

"Six more outs. Hold on for 6 more outs, and we'll be able to have a calm reunion tonight," Veronica says quietly under her breath, praying to the baseball gods. 

_Wow, nice hit by your "son."_

The text comes in before Veronica takes her seat again and Veronica smiles at Logan's quick draw. 

_Wish I could take credit. It's all him._

_We're heading out. The kids are getting antsy. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Don't stand me up._

_I rarely pass up lasagna._

_Here I thought you were looking forward to talking to me again._

_Sure. Sure. That too. See you then._

**********

They hold on for 6 outs, and the celebration on the field following the final out consists of back slaps, rump taps, and glove bumps. Mateo stands next to the wall as he unhooks his protective gear. "You buying me dinner?"

"Of course. Want me to wait here or at the car? Anyone else joining us?"

"Is it OK if it's just you and me?"

"Always."

"Can you afford steak?"

"Anything. For you." Veronica smiles at him. "I've got cookies in the car."

"I'll bring them tomorrow if there're any left."

"Car or locker room door?"

"Car. 30 minutes."

"Good game, kid."

"Thanks, Mama Bear."

**********

Veronica doesn't enjoy waiting in empty parking lots late at night, so she hangs around the stadium for 20 minutes before heading to the deserted car park. Mateo still doesn't own a car, both of them thinking the idea would be impractical for someone who could be traded, advanced, or demoted in a matter of hours. Veronica hasn't been able to give up the SUV they've used to haul baseball equipment for the last several years. The red Honda has served them well, and she plans to drive it until it fails her. She knows her bond to that car involves smelly socks, dirty gloves, and Tupperware containers of diced watermelon. She shudders to know what kind of memories Mateo has of that car and thinks back to what she used to do in the backseat of an SUV as a teenager. 

"I changed my mind. I want burgers. Plural. Baked potatoes. Plural. And a chocolate shake. Not plural." Mateo throws his duffle in the back of the CR-V and sprawls into the front seat buckling up immediately as people of his generation do. 

"That sounds a lot like a Wendy's meal. Sure I can't take you out for a big steak?"

"Drive through and then hot tub at the hotel. My shoulder's killing me."

"Did you have the trainer look at it?"

"Fuck no. You think I want them to know my shoulder hurts. Last thing they need to think is that I'm not 100, no 150%."

"150%? There's that Stanford education reflecting through."

"You know what I mean. Two doubles with everything and cheese. No make it triples. Two baked potatoes with chili and cheese. Large shake." 

"Anything else?"

"You said you have cookies in the car, right?"

"Yeah, and sandwiches and fruit at the hotel."

"Beer? You know I need the carbs."

"That excuse is only going to last so long. But yeah, I have Leinenkugel's in the cooler. I know how you love the Red."

"Cool. You're the best."

"And if I ever show up to a game without food or beer, will I still be the best?"

"Why risk the humiliation? Just keep doing it and you never have to know that answer."

**********

"How're your knees?" Veronica asks as they sit across from each other in the hot tub. 

"Fine. They don't hurt." Mateo runs his hand over his black hair and the hot water streams down his beautiful face.

"No comments about your homerun?"

"What's there to say? I got hold of an inside fastball. Who wouldn't have torn into that? What kind of an asshole calls that pitch on a 1 and 1 count with a tied game? He figured I wouldn't have the guts to swing at it. Stupid motherfucker thinks he's smarter than me. I showed him. He won't pull that shit with me tomorrow." 

"I saw the catcher set for it. I think he called low and inside, but it went high. Might have been a pitching issue, not the call. Anyway, I wanted to whisper the call to you, but you obviously didn't need my help." 

"I always need your help." Veronica smiles at his kind words that seem to come less and less frequently as he grows older. "Where were you when I threw that guy out at second to end the 6th? You weren't in your seat when I went to the dugout."

"I ran out to get some water and bumped into an old friend. Sorry I missed your play." 

"You have old friends?" Mateo asks, and Veronica laughs at what she assumes is a joke, but she sees the seriousness on his face. 

"I did have a life before Stanford, you know. I didn't just pop up there one day with no backstory."

"I suppose that has to be true, but I never hear you talk about it. You never have friends at the house." 

"Those old friends moved on. Grew up. Went their own way. That's how it is as you get older. And it's your house, by the way. You just let me live in it." 

"I don't think I ever want to leave Palo Alto."

"You've already left."

"These are just temporary places. You know that. Do you ever think about leaving?"

"I'm there as long as you need me." 

"I just told you I always need you."

"You're just lonely right now because you're in a new place again. Give it time. You'll settle in. Get your bearings. Have they found you a family yet?"

"Nope. I may have to be alone in an apartment the rest of the season. How will that work if I don't know how long I'll be here? How am I going to afford that?"

"We'll manage. Let me know how much you need, and I'll see what I can dig up. Your life will be a lot easier when you turn 25 and you have access to your trust." 

"And until then, I'm supposed to live like a pauper."

"No, you were supposed to live like a PhD student, but you decided that wasn't the route you wanted to take. You know you would've had access to the money if you were in graduate school. That's how your parents tried to influence your decisions. It was your choice to go without the money for the love of baseball." 

"What do you think? Do you still think I made the wrong choice?"

"I think we're young for a very short time. Enjoy these days, even if you're poor. You'll never get these times back."

"So, who's the old friend you met at the park?"

"A friend from high school, well, middle school actually. I was about 12 when we first met." 

"What's she doing in Visalia? Does she live here?"

"He's a pilot at Lemoore."

"A guy!" Mateo looks at her seriously. "Nope."

"What does that mean?"

"He wasn't like a boyfriend, was he?"

"We were friends, and, yeah, we dated."

"Nope."

"Nope? Like you don't believe what I'm saying? Did 4 years at Stanford not teach you how to express yourself more clearly?"

"Nope, like you never date anyone."

"When you put it like that, it sounds pathetic. What's really the problem? We just ran into each other."

"So that's it? Ran into each other, talked, went your separate ways?" 

"Ran into each other, talked, and having lunch tomorrow after I drop you off at the stadium."

"Nope. Not happening. You're here to see me, not some old boyfriend." 

"I can do both, actually. I'll still be at your game. I'll be there when the stadium opens, just like always." 

"So, it's like a date? You're actually going on a date?"

"It's not a date. It's just lunch with an old friend."

"A date with an old boyfriend that isn't a date. Why isn't it a date? Does he have a wife? Will she be there?"

"I don't think he has a wife. He said he didn't have a family, so I assumed no wife. Maybe he has a girlfriend. I didn't ask. Back in the day, he was known to enjoy the company of an attractive woman, so he probably does. Maybe she'll be at lunch with us. I didn't think to ask."

"Text him and find out."

"What's up with you?"

"You're not going on a date with someone I don't know. It's creepy to think about you out with some random guy you met at one of my games. You're not going to sleep with him, are you? That's just asking for trouble. I swear to God if I have to identify your murdered body in a cheap hotel in Visalia, California, I'm gonna be really pissed."

"Relax. It's just lunch. And he's not random; he's an old friend. Get over yourself."

"But you haven't seen this guy in years. You don't know what he's like now. What if he's developed some sinister personality traits?"

"Not entirely impossible, but highly doubtful. Look, we're meeting at a restaurant, a public place. Everything will be fine."

"It's not just that. Have you ever had a date since you've been Mama Mars? Do you still know how to do it?"

"It's like riding a bike, right? That's what I've heard. Just because you believe I don't date, doesn't mean it's true. My social life should remain a bit of a mystery to you, and I've tried to keep things pretty tight since I was entrusted with your care. You don't need to know everything." 

"Fuck. What if he doesn't kill you but instead you fall in love with him?"

"Are those the only two scenarios you can foresee - murder or everlasting love?"

"What if you move away? Who's going to take care of the house? All of my stuff is there?"

"One lunch is not going to disrupt your lifestyle or your childhood home."

"I don't like it. I wish you would've talked to me about it before you made plans."

"I literally ran into him while buying water. There were no secret plans."

"But you made plans to go to lunch."

"I don't run lunch plans by you. You're the kid here, remember?"

"But what if I don't make it here? If I don't kill it here, they'll release me. Send me on my way. What if you aren't waiting for me at home?"

"You just hit a homerun and threw a runner out at second. You're improving all the time. All you should focus on is each pitch, each at bat. You know how to play this game. So much of it is mental. You can't doubt yourself at this point."

"But my shoulder is killing me. What if it's serious? They'll release me before they put me on the DL." 

"We could get you a massage in the morning. No one on the team would need to know. See a doctor without their knowledge."

"I feel like this is a turning point. This is when they'll either release me or send me up. I'm scared I'm going to fuck this up and wind up washed up and back home. What will my friends say if I fuck up?"

"Your friends will think it's great that you made it this far. And just so I've got this straight, all of this grief you're giving me about lunch tomorrow is really about you being scared about your future, right?"

"I don't know. Life is so uncertain."

"That it is. So that's why you have to enjoy each moment you have right now."

"Things are going to change, aren't they?"

"Of course, every day life changes. You know that. Every pitch is different from the last one."

"You and that house are like the only constants in my life right now."

"I know, kid. But that doesn't mean you won't find someone else who's a constant. When things get a little more normal for you, you'll find a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. No judgment."

"Girlfriend. You've met my girlfriends."

"Right, I know, but no judgment either way."

"Hello. I grew up in the Bay Area. Of course, I don't have judgment. I'd seen it all by the time I was 12."

"I know you did." Veronica splashes some water around her. "Eventually, you'll go to grad school or get a job and find a serious girlfriend. Life will get more stable, especially if you're looking for stability. You'll find what you need." 

"Did you?"

"Tough question."

"Did you stay just for me?"

"90% for you. And it was the right decision. And you've made the right decisions. Stop doubting yourself. It's not like you to be so unsure."

"It's so competitive here. Way more than before. It's less like a brotherhood."

"Don't forget you're the leader and the smartest one on the team. Step up. That's going to be as important as your technical skills. Trust what you've been doing all these years." 

"I need to get out of this hot tub or I'll never be able to have children." 

"Try to hold off on doing that for a few more years. No flings with the pretty girls in the cheap seats."

"I know, but sometimes a guy just needs to get laid." 

"I'm familiar with the concept, but you know the rules. Respect women. Use protection. No one impaired by drugs or alcohol. No fake promises." 

"Yeah, but someone who could give me a shoulder rub would be ideal." 

"We can pay someone to do that."

"We could also pay someone to get me laid."

"Sometimes I feel like I've failed so deeply in my duties."

"Nope. But I'd like you a lot more right now if you had a girl waiting for me in my room."

"Men," Veronica sighs. "Come on. The best I can do for you tonight is to send you off to bed with cookies, sandwiches, and beer." 

**********

 _Get your ass out of bed before they stop the breakfast service._

Veronica sends the text and takes a seat in the dining area as far away from the other guests as possible. She's wearing her running outfit and Cougars cap and she knows she smells as bad as she looks. 

"Give me a break. I'm out of bed," Mateo says as he wanders up to her carrying a tray with three plates of food and six glasses of milk. "I was making a waffle when you sent the text. I don't know why you think you have to wake me up." 

"Force of habit."

"Shit, you smell rank."

"Six miles in this heat." 

"Next time shower before you meet me for breakfast. You're killing my appetite."

"Nothing could kill your appetite."

"And nothing could stop your stench. Oh yeah, a shower could."

"No respect."

"Pool before we leave?"

"I'll shower and meet you there. What about a massage?" She reaches over to tousle the top of his head. 

"No, it's feeling better." He attempts to swat her away. "Fuck off, would you? You seriously stink. And you'll drip sweat in my food." 

"Have I never taught you to respect your elders?"

"Elders. Fuck off. You're like 5 years older than me."

"But I'm still your proud elder." 

Veronica turns away carrying an apple and a cup of tea. She wonders if she's been too lenient with Mateo allowing him to talk to her with such language, but she's not his parent. She knows that all too well. The courts didn't grant her custody. In the eyes of the law, Mateo was mature enough to take care of himself at 17 years old and she was considered little more than his father's momentary side piece. 

**********

"So what's this guy's name?" Mateo looks at Veronica stretched out on the lounger reading a book as he rotates and stretches his right arm under the water. 

"What guy? This author?"

"No, the guy you're meeting for lunch."

"Logan."

"What's he like?"

"Don't know. Before last night, I hadn't seen him in 8, maybe 10 years. Something like that." 

"What was he like?"

"Smart, witty, rich, confident."

"That all sounds pretty good. Then why aren't you friends any more?"

"It's not all good stuff, but when people are polite they don't start the conversation using the words entitled jackass." 

"So, just like you, then." 

"Ha. Ha."

"Am I going to meet him?"

"I don't think so. We're just having lunch. Like I said, I'll be at the stadium at 6:00. You and I'll get steaks after the game. Nothing's changed between us or with our routine." 

"I still think I should meet him. Maybe I'd know you better if I met someone from your past."

"That's a nice thought, but I don't think he has time for that. We just set up a lunch time."

"You see Radiohead dropped a new album?"

"You know I'm a sucker for them." 

"That's why I wanted to make sure you knew. Came out last night at midnight. Knowing you, you were probably zonked by then." 

"Definitely sawing them off soon after that."

"Are you nervous?"

"About your game?"

"No, about the date."

"It's not a date."

"So, are you nervous?"

"I don't think so. No more so than I would be with anyone else I haven't seen in several years. I worry I'll run out of things to talk about, but I've had enough practice talking to strangers at baseball tournaments, so I think I'll be OK." 

"What if he brings his girlfriend?"

"Then I'll have even less reason to have to carry the conversation."

"Did you love my dad?"

"You know the answer to that. You've asked it before. Many times."

"What's the answer."

"Same as it always is. Yes."

"Do you think he loved my mom?"

"Yes. Your dad didn't have a problem loving people."

"Do you think you'll fall in love again? Find a boyfriend?"

"I thought I was forbidden from doing anything to upset your stability."

"Really. Do you?"

"Who knows? Seems a distant possibility at this point."

"Is that my fault?"

"Of course not."

"Are you going to be hard on my serious girlfriends?"

"Maybe. I'll try not to be."

"Should I be hard on your boyfriends?"

"You can worry about it if that ever happens."

"You should be happy, you know. Do what makes you happy."

"And so should you. That's why we're here together. So you can pursue this dream and be happy in the here and now." 

"Yeah, I've just got to buck up. Get my ass in gear."

"You're too smart to let your mental game get soft."

"You know it means a lot to me that you're here for my games this weekend."

"I know, kid."

"I ate all those cookies last night in my room."

"Figured you would. That's why I have another box in my room. Want to take them to the clubhouse with you today? Earn some brownie points."

"I probably should, but they're too good to share." 

"Most kids learn to share at an early age. That's one of your problems of being an only child."

"You're an only child."

"And you can see that the inability to share is but one of my many faults." 

"Can you get some more beer? I had three last night."

"The rule is no more than 2 each night."

"I know. I knew that'd piss you off."

"Anyway, that means there're still 3 left." 

"But they'll be warm."

"I'll refill the cooler with ice. They'll be fine by the time the game is over. You don't need to get rid of beer just because it gets warm." 

"I'm turning into a prune."

"So, get out of the pool."

"But it's so nice. And my shoulder feels better in here." 

"Life is full of tough choices."

**********

"Thanks for the ride."

"I don't have a ticket yet for tonight's game, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to get the same seat."

"No worries. I'll find you. I always do."

"Mental game. Leadership. Confidence. You know how to do the physical stuff better than anyone here and you're smarter than everyone else. Stay sharp."

"Love you," he said leaning over to allow Veronica to pat the top of his head. 

"You too, kid. See you tonight." 

"Don't forget that ice so the beer is cold."

 

**********

Veronica looks up at the tapping on the passenger seat window. Logan in aviators. She hits the automatic door unlock and he settles himself into the air conditioned car beside her. She closes her book and marks her place with last night's ticket stub. "Sorry, am I late? Were you waiting long?"

"No, I'm early. I had some errands after I dropped off Mateo and then I headed over here. Didn't get far in my book while I was waiting."

"Reading something good?"

"Just a mystery. Guilty pleasure." 

"Seems appropriate."

"Guilty pleasures?"

"Mysteries. Still solving them?"

"Not for years. These days most of my reading involves text books." 

"Still in school?"

"Just finished Stanford law school. Studying for the bar now."

"Wow. Good for you. That's impressive."

"Are we waiting for someone else?"

"Who would we be waiting for?"

"Not sure. Girlfriend. Wife. Friend. Partner."

"No to all. Just you and me. Ready to eat?"

"Always."

They make their way to the front door and wait while their eyes adjust from the sunny skies to the darkened interior. They are the only customers at 3:00. "Looks like they might have a table for us," Veronica jokes as she stashes her sunglasses in her black leather purse. 

They follow the hostess to a corner table. A waitress appears as soon as they open their menus with a basket of breads and rolls. "What can I get you to drink?"

"Iced tea," Veronica instructs. "No sugar."

"That's good. I'll do the same. Thanks." Logan looks up from the menu in his hands. "It's hard for me to believe I'm having lunch with Veronica Mars after all these years." 

"In Visalia, California, of all places."

"Indeed."

"I don't know why I even bother to look at a menu. Lasagna it is." Veronica closes her menu. "So, how'd you wind up in the navy?"

"Jumping right into it, are we?"

"Should we make small talk instead? Nice weather we're having, isn't it? Have you seen those baseball scores?"

"You're right. We might as well skip the small talk."

"So, navy?"

"I needed some structure and I had a professor who pointed me in the right direction. That direction was navy pilot. That meant I had to kick ass for the rest of my years at Hearst and then make it into flight school. Tougher than you might imagine."

"I imagine it's pretty tough. They don't let just anyone fly those gazillion dollar machines." Veronica took a sip of her iced tea. "So you finished at Hearst? Went there all 4 years?"

"Yeah, Dick and I finished in 4 years. Didn't Mac and Wallace transfer?"

"They did. Mac wound up at Caltech and Wallace went to a school near Chicago to be closer to his dad." 

"You still in touch with them?"

"Mac and I communicate as much as possible, thanks to the beauty of modern technology, but we don't see each other often. She's living in London with her husband. They have a baby. Well, hardly a baby any more. Wallace teaches and coaches in New Mexico. He's engaged. I rarely see him either, unfortunately."

"I know how that goes. I see Dick once in awhile when I'm not deployed, but I don't keep up with many others from Neptune. How's your dad? He still there?"

"He's fine. No, he's not in Neptune. He has family in Nebraska, so he moved back there soon after I went to Stanford. He wound up taking a job in a small town as the police chief. He married a widow with 3 boys. They have 6 boys, so he's a step-grandfather to 6 little boys. From raising 1 girl to spoiling 6 boys. Crazy."

"Do you see him often?"

"No."

"That's unusual. You were always so close."

"He moved away and he didn't approve of some of the choices I made. Things are a bit strained, but we still talk a couple of times a month."

"You phrased that vaguely enough to be interesting. Veronica Mars making poor choices. This I've got to hear."

"I wish it were exciting. It's not. I stayed at Stanford when I had planned to move on to other pastures."

"Your dad's pissed because you have a law degree from Stanford? There has to be more to the story than that. Unless, he thought you'd follow him to Nebraska."

"No, he didn't encourage me to head to Nebraska. I've only been there a few times since he moved. Kind of sucks not seeing him, but that's how life is sometimes. I don't think his wife is particularly fond of me." The waitress breaks up Veronica's train of thought by taking their order. "So, you mentioned you're deployed sometimes." 

"Yeah. About six months at a time. Give or take. Usually Persian Gulf area, but we aren't allowed to talk about where we're going before we head out. It's all supposed to be confidential." 

"So you fly planes off those ships in the middle of the ocean?"

"I do."

"I saw a documentary on PBS about that a few years ago. Seems like a dangerous job."

"I suppose it is, but I haven't gotten tired of flying yet. It stills excites me. It's such a rush every time. I know it's what I'm supposed to be doing."

"That must be a good feeling to have."

"Don't you know that?"

"I've made the right decisions. They might not have been the right decisions for my dad or even for me, but they were the right decisions in general." 

"Do these decisions have to do with a baseball player?"

"Right on. Keith didn't like it when I started seeing Mateo's dad. I can understand that. There were red flags for sure. He was quite a bit older than me, he was my professor, and he had a reputation for upgrading, shall we say, partners regularly." 

"You call him Keith now?"

"Usually. It's easier to disconnect when I do that."

"So, you were so madly in love with your professor that it was worth risking your relationship with your dad?"

"Not madly in love. I certainly cared about him, but I was well aware of Sai's proclivities. Intelligence, however, is an aphrodisiac for me. Blinds me to reality. Nevertheless, I knew I'd leave and the relationship would end after I got my degree. He was someone to be with while I finished at Stanford. He just had the audacity to die in front of me."

"Fuck."

"Fuck is right. We were on mile 4 of our morning run, and he stopped, grabbed my arm, looked at me, fell, and died. That simple. That quick."

"Fuck. Sorry. That sucks." Logan paused. "You run?"

"Six miles this morning."

"And what's your dad got to do with this?"

"I took responsibility for Mateo. He was only 17 at the time. His mother had been dead for 10 years. His father just keeled over, literally, and it seemed heartless to leave him on his own."

"No grandparents? Aunts or uncles?"

"Of course, but in India and Spain. I'm sure they would have taken him, but he didn't want to leave Palo Alto." 

"So you took him in?" The waitress delivers their food interrupting their conversation only to ask if they need anything else. 

"Technically, he took me in. I moved into the family home and gave him some stability. Stability he was craving. And if last night's conversation with him is any indication, he still craves, I'm afraid." 

"And your dad thought you were too young to do that?"

"Right and that I put my goals aside so I could be a fixture at his baseball games." 

"I would think super Padres fan Keith Mars would be ecstatic at the prospect of a professional baseball player in the family." 

"Not family. I tried to adopt him, but it didn't happen. We don't have any legal bond to each other. I'm not sure why I couldn't just walk away. Maybe the gods were laughing at me and threw another parentless teenage boy my way in hopes I would be a better influence the next time around. This time without the agonizing chemistry." 

"You think you weren't a good influence on me?"

"I think things could have gone better, that's for sure."

"You were about the only one who had any influence on me, good or bad."

"Sounds like you had a professor who was a pretty good influence on you."

"Same goes for you."

"I was hoping for an A in the class and instead I got his kid," Veronica joked. "Seriously, though, I wasn't involved with him when I was his student. I'm just joking about that." 

"You don't have to prove anything to me, Veronica." 

"Still, that wasn't how I operated."

"I know that. What's it like being a parent?"

"Surrogate. I'm not his parent. I don't really think of myself that way. I'm only a few years older than him, for one thing. It's more of a big sister kind of relationship. Although, he insists on calling me mama. I swear he does it just to make people freak out." 

"What's he like?"

"Brilliant. That's the first thing that comes to mind. Magna cum laude at Stanford. Pretty decent baseball player. He's usually pretty kind and confident, but lately he's doubting himself more and more. That's worrisome. And like I said, he can't get enough stability right now, but I think that's because he just moved again." 

"Needs some adjustment time?"

"That and he needs to get laid." Logan chokes on his chicken as the words hit his ears. He drinks his tea before looking at Veronica. "What? That's what he told me last night."

"And you're his pimp now?" 

"Is that the right use of that word? Either way, what's the big deal? He's a young man. Baseball, sex, and food. That's about all he thinks about. Not necessarily in that order." She takes the last bite of her lasagna. "You live around here. Know someone who'd like to have a fling with a professional baseball player?"

Logan studies her before speaking. "Are you serious about this? I'm having a hard time believing this is the conversation we're having."

"Forget it. It's not a big deal. Like I said, he just mentioned it last night, and he'd probably be pissed that I told you."

"Yeah, I might know someone." Logan takes out his phone and sends a text.

"Cool. He's staying in his own room at the Hampton Inn while I'm here. Hot tub. Beer. Professional athlete. What? Why would I care as long as he follows the rules?"

"You've given him rules about sex."

"Of course. No drugs."

"Justified."

"Respect women."

"Naturally."

"Use protection."

"Can't be too careful."

"No floozies looking for a meal ticket."

"Does he have a meal ticket?" 

"He will either when he turns 25 or makes it to the big leagues. If I had to put money on it, I'd guess it'll be when he turns 25."

"That's it?"

"Seems like there's one more. Oh yeah. He can't make promises he can't keep since he might move at any time."

"I have to admit those all sound pretty reasonable. You're not such a hard ass of a sister or mama or surrogate or whatever." Logan looks at his vibrating phone. "Yeah, she's in."

"What?"

"She's in."

"Fuck, now I do feel like a pimp."

"Second thoughts?"

"No, it's fine. I'm sure he'll be grateful. Wait. She's OK? Not crazy? Not a murderer?"

"Don't think she's a murderer, but maybe you can do a quick background check. She's a pilot, so she might be a little crazy."

"Does she want to see him play baseball? I'll get her a ticket if she does."

"Seriously, Veronica. I didn't ask her if she wants to fuck the catcher. I asked her if she wants to go to a baseball game and meet the catcher afterwards. What happens from there is up to them. And, yeah, she does. She can meet us there by 6:45." 

"Us? Were you planning to go to the game?"

"Is that OK? I'd like to spend more time with you. If it's not OK, just tell me."

"No, it's fine. I just figured you had better things to do on a Saturday night. I'll leave a ticket for her, for you, for both of you, at the box office. Shit. I'm starting to feel guilty about this. A big sister would do this for a little brother, right? Because I don't know any parents who would do this for their child."

"You met my parents and this would have been mild for them."

"I'm not sure using your parents as models for behavior is my best option."

**********

"No dessert?"

"I better not. Except for my run this morning, it hasn't been a terribly active day. Reading by the pool and watching a baseball game don't burn many calories."

"Well, you look amazing. You've barely changed since the last time I saw you."

"Flattery. I love it. You've changed. Short hair, big muscles. The military looks good on you."

"Thanks, Veronica." There's an awkward pause before Logan speaks again. "So, are you seeing anyone?"

"Now? No. I have the bar exam next month. I need to stay focused."

"Pretty stressful, huh?"

"It is. I didn't intend to get a law degree let alone practice, but it seems like the best way to pay off my debts." Veronica turns to look at the elderly couple making their way to a front table. Must be 4:30, Veronica thinks. "What about you? Still the lady killer you were years ago? Tell me some things never change."

"Lady killer? Try to find a better phrase than that, would you?" Logan cringes. "I'm single at the moment."

" _At the moment._ Good qualifier. Makes me assume there've been lots of women along the way and the potential for more in the near future. Nicely done."

"Just trying to figure out if there's any of that agonizing chemistry left between us, as you put it earlier."

"And?"

"I'd change the adjective, but definitely." 

"Mateo freaked when I told him I was meeting you before the game. Didn't seem thrilled I was meeting some guy for lunch."

"Am I some guy, Veronica?"

"Hardly, but he doesn't need to know the details."

"Why did he freak?"

"Thinks you might have nefarious intentions."

"I have intentions, but they could hardly be described as nefarious." Logan raises one eyebrow at her. "Why would he think that? What'd you tell him about me?"

"Your first name." 

"What else?"

"That's it. I'm pretty sure I've never mentioned you to him before. I like to keep him as oblivious to my past as possible."

"There've been so many times I wanted to contact you, find you. There's barely a mention of you on the internet. How did you disappear? And now, here you are. It seems impossible that fate put us together again."

"That fate is so unpredictable sometimes, isn't she?"

"She is."

Veronica looks at her watch. "How much do I owe for this nice meal?"

"I've got it."

"No, I want to pay my share. I swore to Mateo this was not a date. Let me pay my way, so I can honestly say it wasn't."

"Why does he care who you date?"

"I think the words creepy and pathetic were mentioned." 

"He really must think of you as his mother." Logan opens his wallet. "If I let you pay half for lunch, will you go on a real date with me another time?"

"Last I heard you live in Lemoore and I live in Palo Alto. How's that going to work?"

"Tonight? Tomorrow? If not, we'll find a way."

"Um, OK, sure. Why not?"

"When?"

"I'll have to see what Mateo's schedule is tomorrow."

"What about Monday before you head home. You have to go through Lemoore to get to the 5 anyway." 

"I'm leaving early. I have to be back in Palo Alto by 11:00, so I don't think so." 

"Stay with me Sunday night and you'll be half an hour closer to Palo Alto on Monday morning."

Veronica raises an eyebrow. "That sounds suspiciously like a proposition."

"Read into it what you will. What do you say?"

Veronica looked at the time, this time on her phone. "Better not, but I'll probably be back for the next home stretch. Are you around most of the time or do you deploy or get sent away to other places?"

"Looks like I'll be in Lemoore for another year if all goes as planned." 

"Then feel free to proposition me again."

Logan matches the $20 Veronica puts on the table, and they slip out the front door. Veronica searches through her purse for her sunglasses and they walk to their cars. Veronica notices Logan's navy BMW. "You're riding in style." 

"And you have the car of a soccer mom."

"Baseball, not soccer." Veronica presses the key fob to unlock the doors. "I have to do a few things before I head to the park. I'll leave the tickets for you at the box office."

"We'll see you there." Logan scoops Veronica into a lingering hug. "See you tonight."

"Right. See you." Veronica slides into the driver's seat and heads back to the hotel. She'd love a shower before the game, but she thinks she may only have time to change and fill the cooler with ice before heading to the stadium. She thinks back about the lunch and hopes she was able to pull off cool rather desperate. She ached to invite Logan back to the hotel with her or, at the very least, to stay wrapped in his hug. But she's proud of herself for remaining collected despite the fucking chemistry. Yes, that was definitely the new adjective she wanted to use. 

**********

Veronica is able to purchase 3 tickets next to each other in the same location she had the previous night. She makes her way to the front row to gauge the feeling of the park. When she looks on the field, she sees Mateo waving instructions to the other players. He's back, Veronica thinks. The mental toughness has returned and he's leading the pack. She doesn't know if it is the conversations they've had or a talk from a coach in the locker room, but she can feel the attitude shift in the breeze. Tonight, he doesn't acknowledge her presence, but she knows he's aware of her. 

She plugs in and closes her eyes as the sounds of Radiohead tinkle in her ears. She concentrates on the notes, the voice, the melody and tries to pull herself away from the field and into the sounds in her head. The calm before the storm, she thinks. She finally pulls herself up from the seat and makes her way to the souvenir shop. She tries on the red fitted cap, but she can't yet bring herself to buy it. Although, she finally admits to herself that the green Cougars cap is pretty crusty with her daily dousing of sweat into it. As she exits the shop, she hears the last notes of the national anthem booming from the speakers. 

When she returns to the seating area, she notices Logan and his fellow pilot are standing by their seats. His companion is only a few inches shorter than Logan with frizzy red hair tied back in a ponytail. Her pale skin contrasts with Logan's tan arms and neck. She holds herself straight, and Veronica wonders if she had years of gymnastics training as a child. As Logan points to the field, she bumps him with her shoulder. 

"Hi again," Veronica says looking at Logan. She points towards the end of the row and continues, "I'm just there." She moves in front of them to her seat. She feels Logan's hand slide across her back as she walks past him. He keeps it on her lower back for a few moments before talking. 

"Veronica, this is Katie. Katie, Veronica." Veronica reaches across Logan and shakes Katie's hand. As she does, Logan catches a glimpse of the orange sports bra hidden inside her black v-neck t-shirt. 

"It's nice to meet you. I hope we didn't interrupt your plans by dragging you out to the game." They all sit down, pulling their seats into the L position. 

"No, I'm new to the area, so I haven't really found my footing yet. I love baseball, so this is a perfect night for me. My brothers played baseball. I've sat through a lot of innings in my life." 

"No softball or baseball for you?"

"Nope. I'm a volleyball gal. Setter."

"Are volleyball skills a prerequisite for navy pilots or is that just for the movies?"

"You really need to stop watching _Top Gun_ ," Logan laughs. 

"So, you know the catcher?"

"I do. He's been in A ball in the Midwest League until recently. They just pushed him up here to High A."

"Where'd he play in college?"

"Stanford."

"My brother was a pitcher at UC Berkeley. Maybe they played against each other."

"That would be kind of a weird coincidence. But that seems to be the theme of the weekend."

"How's he like the minor leagues?"

"He likes playing baseball, but the minors are tough. They don't have the same union negotiating for them as the majors, so life is pretty meager." 

"Logan said he hit a homerun last night."

"Yeah. Catchers aren't known for their batting, so it's good if he can show off with a few good swings early in his arrival."

"Definitely. Make a good, quick impression. What's his name?"

"Mateo Khan." Veronica hands Katie her program. "You can find his stats in there. Shit, I forgot to get some water before I came back." Katie opens the program and scans the information. 

"There are servers, you know," Logan suggests. "We can just put in an order and they'll bring us what we want."

"I know. I get kind of nervous during games, and getting up helps me calm down." 

"Maybe I can think of other ways to relax you."

"Watch yourself or I'll think you're hitting on me."

"Have I lost my touch? Because I'm definitely hitting on you." 

Veronica smiles before looking back at the field. "Trust me. You haven't lost your touch." 

Logan motions to the waitress. He turns to Veronica. "Water or something else?"

"Water, please."

"Katie, what do you want?"

"Do you have Leinie's Red?" she asks the waitress and Veronica gasps at her question. 

"No, but we have 8 ounce Bud Light for $2 tonight."

"Pass on the piss water. I'll go with an Angry Orchard."

"And I'll have a Coke. Anyone want food?" Both women shake their heads. 

It's the third inning before the waitress returns. Veronica's hands ache from clenching. She's used to squeezing a water bottle in her hand throughout the game. The game moves quickly. The Rawhide pitcher has a no-hitter going, and Veronica thinks Mateo's pitch calls have been spot on all night. When he hits a double in the fourth inning, Veronica claps only long enough to release some of her stress. 

"You OK?" Logan asks. 

"Sure. I just usually listen to music during the game. I know it's only a game, but it's still nerve-racking. At least, I haven't started bouncing my leg yet. Stop me if I do that, will you?"

"Happy to. I'd like an excuse to put my hand on your thigh."

Veronica's face reddened. "I can't remember the last time I blushed. I feel like a teenager."

"It's that agonizing chemistry."

"Thought you wanted to change the adjective." Veronica lifts the hair off her neck and fans herself with her other hand. "Fuck, it's hot."

"I would suggest we get out of here, but I suppose that's not an option." 

"It may not appear as such, but my presence, or absence as it may be, is always noted and commented on following the game."

"It's like we have a chaperone." 

Veronica hears the same music as last night and pulls her phone out of her pocket. The scoreboard lights up again with names and greetings. DOUBLE M - RED ON ICE- MAK. "Seriously, that's what I get tonight," Veronica moans as she snaps a picture. 

"What's that mean?"

"It means he wants to make sure I remembered to get ice so his beer is cold when the game's finished. Fucking punk." 

"And did you?"

"Of course. It's not my first rodeo, or baseball game, as it goes." Veronica slips the phone back into her pocket. "Not even a fucking love at the end." 

"I'm glad he didn't go with Double M last night or I wouldn't have made the connection. What's it stand for?"

"Mama Mars." 

"Sexy."

"My thoughts exactly," Veronica says matching Logan's sarcasm. "Sorry, but I need to head out." She rises and Logan stands with her. 

"You going to the restroom?" Katie asks. 

"You got it."

"I'll join you. Watch our seats, Logan."

"Better than watching your purses, I guess."

As they wash their hands, Katie asks, "So what's the deal with you and Logan?" 

"Old friends who randomly bumped into each other." 

"Friends from before or after his divorce?"

"Definitely before since I didn't know he's divorced." 

"I don't know much about it, but I've heard some of the guys mention it. Sounds like it was pretty ugly. I've only been at Lemoore a few weeks, but he's been really good to me. Kind of taken me under his wing, literally and figuratively. Keeps some of the other guys at bay." 

"Is that good?"

"Yeah, this can be a tough profession for women. It's no secret the military has some _issues_ with females. Have you seen the rape and harassment statistics at the military academies? It's not pretty." 

"I've seen the articles." 

"It's nice to know someone may be watching out for me." Katie follows Veronica to the concession stand. "I'm confused about your relationship with Mateo."

"You're not the only one. It's confusing. I was in his life when his father died. His mother had already been dead for 10 years when his dad died. Water?" Katie nods. "Three waters, please." Veronica takes the cash out of her pocket. "He asked me to stick around, so I did. I can't say I raised him. He was practically an adult by that time." 

"And now you're trying to set him up with me?"

"It probably wasn't a good idea, but he just moved here, and he needs more than baseball in his life, whether he knows that or not. Logan said he might know someone in the same situation, so he texted you. It's weird, isn't it? I'm sorry."

"No. It's cool. We can get to know each other. Hang out. Be friends. But if there's no connection, you aren't going to be pissed, are you? It won't make things awkward between you and Logan or Logan and me, will it?"

"Absolutely not. It's just really nice of you to see if you want get to know him." Veronica hands Katie a bottle of water and takes the other 2 back to their seats. "We'll grab some food after the game, and if you never want to talk to him again, that's perfectly OK." 

"Cool." 

Veronica heads into the row first and Logan doesn't bother to stand up as she hands him a bottle of water, their knees touch as she scoots past him. His arm is around the back of her seat and he doesn't move it as she sits. She twists off the bottle cap and takes a long drink. Logan slips his hand under the back of her hair and rubs her neck with his fingers. Shivers cover Veronica's body. She steals a quick glance at Logan, smiles, and wonders if his kisses still induce moans. 

In the top of the 7th, the pitcher strikes out the first batter, pops out the second, walks the third, and Mateo throws out the runner stealing second to keep the pitcher's no-hitter intact. Logan leaves the row during the 7th inning stretch, but Veronica stays close knowing Mateo is first to bat. He's had a good night. One strike out, one double, and one walk. Veronica thinks it's crazy whenever a pitcher walks a catcher. This at bat, he singles with a hit over second base to the outfield. A homerun, a pitching change, and three strike outs end the inning. 

Logan returns and sits beside her. "I was hoping you'd follow me out and we could find a dark corner to make out." 

"Priorities. Had to watch the kid bat."

"You're priorities are screwed up." 

"We're six outs away from witnessing a no-hitter. Aren't you excited?"

"Thrilled."

"Want to make it interesting? We could bet to see if he comes through with the no-hitter." 

"If he doesn't, you spend Sunday night at my place."

"If he does, you buy dinner tonight for all 4 of us."

"That's it?"

"You've never seen this kid eat."

"Shake?"

"Shake," Veronica agrees as she puts her hand out to him. She doesn't let go as their hands rest on Logan's leg. 

"I've never wanted to witness a hit so badly in my life," Logan admits. "I'm going to win. He's got to be tired by now."

"You're not reading him. He's not tired. He can feel it. He's not going to let it go when it's this close. Anyway, I'm not really sure how I can lose in this situation." Veronica moves her hand and grabs her water. "God, it's hot. I want to pour this over my head."

"Please do that. Please."

Veronica leans forward in her chair and watches Mateo ready for each pitch. Although baseball is a fickle lover, she knows she's going to win the bet. Mateo's sharp, and she feels the connection between him and the pitcher tonight. She wouldn't be surprised if the next batters all go down swinging. 

At the top of the 9th with 2 outs, Veronica turns to Logan. "I hope you have your black card with you. I'm telling you this kid can eat." 

"It's not over yet."

With a pop fly behind the plate, Mateo catches the ball and the game ends. "Sucker," she says. "I could feel this one in the 4th inning." 

Logan turns to speak to Katie and misses the quick exchange as Veronica catches Mateo's eyes. She points to her watch, flashes 30 with her fingers, and points to the parking lot. Mateo nods and disappears without speaking to her. 

**********

Mateo walks out carrying his duffle over his shoulder. His hair is wet and slicked back and Veronica can smell his shampoo from 10 feet away. His light gray shorts and striped polo shirt make him look like he's coming off the golf course rather than out of a baseball locker room. Only his Adidas flip-flops give him away. Veronica knows he's guarded watching her instead of catching the eyes of the other two standing next to her. "Great game, kid."

"Thanks."

"Mateo, this is Logan and Katie. We're all going out for dinner together." 

"Nice to meet you," he says without offering a hand. 

"So, we'll meet you downtown," Veronica states rather than questions. 

"Right. See you there." 

Veronica and Mateo fill the car with uneasy silence.

"You were on. Every call you made was right."

"Thanks." He pauses. "So, this is the guy? That his girlfriend?"

"That's Logan, but she's not his girlfriend. She's another pilot. I thought you might be able to use a friend while you're here."

"Fuck no. Are you really fucking setting me up? Do you think I'm so pathetic I need you to set me up?" 

"I don't think you're pathetic. It's one meal. If you don't like her, you never have to be in contact with her again. I do, however, happen to know one of her favorite beers is Red." 

"Yeah?" He relaxes slightly. "She likes baseball?"

"Yep. One of her brothers played at Berkeley. Maybe the same time you did." 

"OK. What else?"

"She's no dummy. She went to Pepperdine and then flight school. She's new to the area, and doesn't know many people. You don't have to fall in love. Just have a conversation with her." 

"OK. I can do that, but I'm starving. We're going to eat, right? Not just talk." 

"Oh, we're definitely eating. Get anything and everything you want. Logan's buying because I bet him after the 7th it would wind up a no hitter."

"Sucker. You could see that coming in the 4th."

"That's exactly what I told him." Veronica pulls into the parking lot of the restaurant, parks, and turns off the car. "How did everyone like the cookies?"

"How do you think? 30 seconds tops. I didn't even get one." 

"Why were you so sharp today? You really looked good." Veronica watches Logan and Katie enter the restaurant. 

"It's like you said. I know this game. I know it better than anyone else on the team. Probably better than the coaches. I trained hard today, and I was ready to go." 

"I'm proud of you."

"I'm such a pain in your ass, aren't I? Why do you put up with my shit all the time?"

"Because you need someone sometimes." 

"No, I don't need someone. I need _you_ to talk me down now and again."

"Or pump you up." 

"You know which one I need at which time." 

"I know because I'm one of the few people you let in. Open up tonight. Don't be a downer. Show Katie what a good guy you really are." Veronica pushes back his wet hair. "Let's go. And remember to get the most expensive thing on the menu."

**********

Because Veronica refuses to sit in a booth, there's a 10-minute wait for a table. There are 2 seats together on the closest end of the bar. Logan and Veronica make their way to the far end where there's an empty stool and order water. They watch as the other couple clink their beer glasses. Mateo takes a swig that empties a third of his glass. "He needs the carbs," Veronica says to Logan as they watch them. 

"So, you don't drink?" Logan asks Veronica as she sips from her glass and chews on a piece of ice. He turns his back to the bar and leans with one leg straight and one bent at the knee, looking directly into Veronica's face. 

"Not usually. You?"

"Same." 

"That's a big change from the guy I used to know." 

"I suppose. Had to clean up if I wanted to be a pilot. You?"

"I have a reputation to uphold."

"Which reputation is that? Take-no-prisoners, Veronica Mars. Smartest person in the room. Loyal best friend. Dutiful daughter. Bobcat extraordinaire." 

"Pretty sure you're the only one familiar with that last one." 

"Excellent. It happens to be one of my favorite reps."

Veronica smiles, looks away, and taps Logan's hand. He catches her hand in his and squeezes before resting their joined hands on her leg. "I feel like someone's about to tell me I've won a pony. If I didn't know better, I'd say this feeling just might be classified as giddy. When have you ever known me to be giddy?"

"Pep squad?"

"Not real enthusiasm. Just a show for the fans." 

"I do seem to recall some real enthusiasm from you that did not require a pep squad uniform."

"Am I blushing again? Damn, you make me think impure thoughts." Veronica takes another sip of her water and hesitates before speaking. "Katie mentioned in the restroom that you're divorced." 

Logan closes his eyes, removes his hand from her leg, and crosses his arms in front of him. "Do we have to talk about that? It's painful and it sucks and it will put me in a bad mood."

"No problem. Sorry to bring it up." 

"How about we talk about something more upbeat like starving children or climate change?"

"Just look across the bar. There's a starving child right in front of you. Or so he claims."

"Hardly a child." 

"Keep reminding me." 

"It's great you feel so connected, but don't you want to see if he can do this on his own?" 

"Of course. You're right. I coddle him. For some reason, I still feel guilty. Like his dad's death was my fault. If I hadn't convinced him to take up running, he wouldn't have died. At least, not on my watch." 

"That's putting a lot of pressure on yourself."

"And there's a part of Mateo that just won't seem to grow up. He's a smart guy, really smart. But there's a piece of him that stopped maturing at 17 when his dad died. Part of him is frozen in time."

"All men have a 17-year old in them, I'm afraid."

Veronica laughs. "I suppose that's true."

The hostess motions to them and the four of them take a table in the middle of the room. The waitress follows the hostess to the table. 

"I've already looked at the menu," Mateo says to the server. "For appetizers, we'll start with the scallops, chicken lettuce wraps, steak nachos, mini tacos, wings, and the wrapped brie."

"Fuck," Logan says under his breath so only Veronica can hear. 

"Told you," she mutters from behind her menu. "Best bet I ever made." 

"And I'll have the prime rib for my meal." Mateo closes his menu. "And another Red. Thanks." 

"I'll have the surf and turf," Katie states. "Oh, yeah, and another Red, too, when you get a chance." 

"Nice choice," Mateo agrees. "I thought about that one, but I didn't think the filet would be big enough." 

"I'll have the ribeye," Logan acknowledges. 

"Chicken salad with the vinaigrette," Veronica finishes. "And iced tea."

"And you should probably add the calamari and blackened beef for the appetizers, too," Mateo adds. "And we'll want dessert."

Logan does a mental calculation in his head and realizes this meal could set him back $500. He looks at Veronica and she raises an eyebrow in recognition. "Told you you'd need the black card."

"Thanks for buying," Mateo says eyeing Logan. "I eat a lot after a game." 

"A bet's a bet. And Veronica warned me about the food intake." Logan turned his gaze to Katie and said, "Nice of you to get in on the action, too, Dutch. Most expensive thing on the menu. Don't think I didn't notice. I knew you were always pretending to be nice to me. Using me for my money. Just like everyone else."

"I believe the bet was that you were picking up the entire check. That includes me. I'm no fool. And I know how much pilots make, so it's going to take a little more than your salary to impress me." Veronica notices how Logan remains quiet, and she thinks about how much of their lives is lost on the two people sitting across from them. 

"Why'd you call her Dutch," Mateo asks. 

"Sorry. Call sign. Slipped out." 

"Why do they call you Dutch?"

"My family's Dutch and I'm always talking about it. Wish it were more interesting like I was so stoned in Amsterdam that I came home wearing wooden shoes on my ears. Or that my favorite beer is Heineken. But no. Just family heritage."

"Do all pilots have those?" Veronica asks and Katie nods her head. "What's Logan's?" 

"Mouth." 

"No explanation needed," Veronica says as she rolls her eyes. "Some things never change." Logan reaches over to Veronica and they fist-bump. 

"So, you knew Veronica when she was in high school?"

"I did. We've known each other since we were 12."

"What's the worst thing she ever did?"

"Don't answer that," Veronica demands. 

Logan chuckles. "I'm still too afraid of her to go against her wishes."

"Why would anyone be afraid of her?"

Logan turns to stare at Veronica. "Really?"

"Not everyone needs to know the sordid details of my youth." 

"Sordid details?" Mateo leans forward. "Tell me more."

"Are we talking in general or just how these tales relate to me?" Logan asks and smiles again at Veronica. 

"No," Veronica instructs and points first at Logan and then at Mateo. "No. This conversation is not happening."

"You know she used to be a private investigator, right?" Logan asks. 

"What the fuck? In high school?" Logan nods. "A teenage private detective? How did I not know that?"

"Seriously, Logan, no stories about that."

"How about a nice one like when you found that girl's lost dog?"

"She was a teenage P.I. and all you've got for me is a lost dog? Come on. Spill."

The server arrives with 2 helpers carrying several plates of food. "Oh, thank goodness. Saved by the food," Veronica exhales. 

"Go ahead. I can listen about her sordid past while I eat." 

"I've tried to set a good example for the last several years. Are you going to destroy all the work I've done in one meal?" 

"Far be it for me to damage your immaculate _reputation_ ," Logan chides as he lays his arm on Veronica's shoulders, pulls her close, and kisses the top of her head. Veronica looks at Mateo and sees his jaw clench as their eyes meet. Veronica moves back to the center of her chair, and Logan returns his arm to his side. 

"You guys coming to the game tomorrow night?" Mateo asks, and Veronica understands he's gauging how long Logan will be in her life. 

"Can't," Katie says before Logan can answer. "Wish we could, but we've got night maneuvers." 

"What's that mean? Flying in the dark?" Mateo asks. 

"Bingo. You should come to the base some time and see our planes. Watch us fly."

"That sounds cool," Mateo concedes. "We're leaving early Monday morning for a long stretch, but then we have three days off for the all-star break." Veronica taps Logan's knee with hers and raises an eyebrow in acknowledgement of the future plans being made. "I could text you the dates and see if any of them would work." They both pull out their phones and exchange numbers. Both of them leave their phones out and scroll through messages. Veronica wonders if they are messaging each other while sitting next to one another. 

The dinners arrive, and Veronica tries not to be repulsed by the massive hunk of red meat oozing blood in front of Mateo. "Eat up, kid. It's Wendy's for you again tomorrow night." 

**********

Logan does, in fact, pull out a black AmEx to pay the bill following the desserts enjoyed by both Mateo and Katie. "Whoa. Who left you the fortune?" Katie asks as she watches Logan hand the server his card. 

"Google it," he says under his breath. 

"Hey, uh, ma, Katie and I are gonna have another one before we head out. She'll give me a ride back to the hotel." 

Veronica turns to Mateo and flashes him two fingers. "I'm not sure you should have another drink before driving. And you've already had your two, Mat." 

"Yeah, we're just going to have a Coke or something." 

"I definitely won't drink and drive," Katie interjects. "Shit would hit the fan on base, wouldn't it, Logan." He nods in agreement. The server returns and Logan signs the bill in illegible handwriting, his standard mark for receipts.

Logan stands quickly from the table and pulls Veronica's chair away from the table. "Have fun. Good luck with your game tomorrow night," he says as he puts his arm across the table. "It was good getting to know you." 

"Yeah, you too," Mateo says and reaches across to meet his grip. "Thanks for dinner."

"See you on base, Dutch. Let's go, Veronica." 

Veronica smiles at the couple left at the table before she heads to the door. Logan is holding the door open for her and as he closes the door behind her, he bends down and kisses her on the lips. "I was beginning to think I'd never get time alone with you." Veronica reaches for his neck and pulls him tighter. "You going to invite me over?" he whispers. 

"Not tonight." She runs her hand across his cheek and feels the stubble. She longs to feel that sensation running across her stomach. "I'll be sitting by the pool after I drop Mateo off tomorrow at 1:00. If you don't have anything else happening, stop by. Only if it works into your schedule."

"You going to invite me to your room then?"

"Do you want to get to know me again or have sex with me?"

"Yes." 

"Well, I'm not going to be an easy sure thing, so if that has any impact on your availability, keep that in mind." 

"When have we ever been easy?"

"I wish I had a witty comeback for that, but all that's going through my head is the word true." 

Logan walks Veronica to her car. "I'll see you tomorrow, Veronica." 

"Good night, Logan. Thanks for dinner and for introducing Katie to Mateo." 

"Anything for you." 

**********

Veronica pulls out her phone as she sits on her bed and hovers over the name. Veronica can't afford to text Mac in London, but Mac set them up with another app making it easy for them to message using WiFi. 

_Q, you up?_

_How much sleep do think I get with a 1-year old?_

_Not enough. And she better not be 1 yet because I haven't mailed her birthday present. Don't rush her. She'll grow up too fast as it is._

_What are you doing up late?_

_Finished dinner after M's game. Guess who I ran into at the ballpark yesterday?_

_Ken Burns._

_Ken Burns? Where did that come from?_

_Didn't he make a documentary about baseball?_

_No, not Ken Burns._

_Kevin Costner._

_WTF._

_He made a movie about minor league baseball, didn't he?_

_No, not Kevin Costner._

_I give up._

_Logan._

_Shit. What was he doing there?_

_He's a navy pilot at Lemoore. Near Mateo's new team._

_Oh._

_That's it. No other reaction?_

_How was it?_

_Don't you think it's weird he's a pilot?_

_Kind of knew._

_What?_

_You know all that time you insist I spend wiping your name from the internet? Well, I may have come across his name once in awhile._

_You knew he was a pilot?_

_Yeah._

_What else?_

_Don't get upset, but he got married. He's married, Veronica._

_Divorced._

_I admit I stopped looking after I saw the honeymoon pictures. Bora Bora, for fuck's sake. Mucho cliché, n'cest pas?_

_What are the chances of running into each other again and when we're both single at the same time?_

_Slim, but must not be none. Did you sleep with him?_

_No._

_Did you want to?_

_So much._

_Are you going to?_

_Don't know. Advice?_

_You don't do what you want very often._

_I try to do the right thing._

_Maybe doing what you want is the right thing._

_Profound, sister._

_That's me. The great philosopher._

_Sorry, should have asked. How are you? How's my goddaughter and namesake?_

_She's beautiful and smart. She might just be the most special baby ever put on earth. Not that I'm biased. And how many times do we have to play this game? She's no one's goddaughter and she was named for Hugh's grandmother._

_You say that, but I don't think I will ever actually believe you. Who would ever doubt me as a fairy godmother? And I would expect nothing less than perfection from your offspring._

_She's fussy at the moment. Think she's teething. OK to let you go or do you need to talk more about Logan?_

_Go. Be mommy. Give VeeVee a kiss from me. Tell her I'm going to learn how to bottle the California sun and send it to her so it can shine brightly on her face for eternity._

_Miss you so much, dear bestie. Love you. Live a little. Be happy._

_Miss you. Love you. Hugs and kisses to all 3 of you. Talk later._

**********

Veronica exits the front door of the hotel and begins her stretching routine in the morning sun. Her earbud cords snake into the pocket holding her phone. She stretches her neck to the left and notices the car in the parking lot. Katie's car. "No judgment," she reminds herself and starts out on her run. 

Two hours later she returns to the hotel and notices the absence of the car. Before heading to the dining area, she takes the stairs to her floor and lingers in the shower. She wonders if Logan is thinking about her, too, as he stands in his shower. She rests one leg on the edge of the tub, leans on the tiles, and lets her hands follow her thoughts of Logan.

**********

"Morning," she offers at the sight of Mateo, clearly unshaved and not showered. "How was your night after we left?"

"Fine." He says not looking at her but cutting the waffle loaded with bananas and strawberries. 

"Is that all I get? No more information?"

"That's it. Nice you bothered to shower this time." 

"Can't say the same for you. Late night?"

"I'll just go back to sleep for an hour and I'll be fine." 

"You need to be there at noon today. Remember, the game's earlier tonight." 

"I know. I'll be fine. Just let me eat." 

"See you at 11:45 at the car." Veronica walks away apple in hand not wanting to dig any deeper into the previous night's activities. Veronica heads back to her room and opens her laptop to study. 

**********

The short ride to the ballpark is quiet. Mateo breaks the silence with, "Fine. You win. I like her."

"I didn't ask anything." 

"You were thinking it." 

"You can't read my mind." Veronica pauses, but Mateo doesn't add to the conversation. "I saw her car in the parking lot when I went for my run." 

"Yeah. But don't worry. I followed the rules." He pauses. "She's cool. Think she'll come to another game?"

"Probably. But I'm sure she's busy with her career too. Don't read too much into it if she isn't always available when you are." Veronica stops the car a few feet from the entrance to the locker room. "Stay sharp. Play smart."

"Love you." 

Veronica touches his head. "You too, kid." 

**********

Veronica feels the shadow over her before she hears him speak. She looks up at him as she pulls her sunglasses down to the edge of her nose and closes her book. "Hey," he says softly. 

Veronica reaches up wordlessly suggesting that he help pull her off the pool lounger. "Changed my mind," she says. "I'm inviting you to my room."

"Fuck yeah," Logan smiles as he bounces her from the chair. "Lead the way." 

Veronica slips on her flip flops, grabs her room key from the table, and heads to the glass doors separating the pool area from the dining tables. She walks in front of him and they take the elevator to her floor, neither of them speaking or touching again. 

When the door closes, Veronica puts her book on the desk and flips her shoes off with a flick of each ankle. She walks back towards Logan. "Let's do this. I'm so tired of being correct all the time." She slips the black and white striped t-shirt dress over her head and shimmies out of her hipster underwear. She hadn't bothered to put on a bra after her earlier run and shower. "Your turn."

"Hold on. I want to take this in a minute. Veronica Mars is standing naked in front of me." 

"Would you prefer if we just talk? I can throw my dress back on. Three seconds to decide."

Logan toes off his canvas sneakers while lifting his t-shirt over his head. Veronica walks to the bed and pulls down the comforter and sheets. She walks back to Logan and sees the band of his boxers sticking out from the top of his shorts. As she unbuttons his Penguin shorts, he pulls his wallet from his pocket and throws it onto the nightstand before pulling his shorts down and scooping Veronica up. "I like the way you dress these days," she states. He does a half spin and they wind up on the bed together. 

"Or do you mean the way I undress."

"That needs improvement. Faster would be better." 

"Patience, bobcat."

"Says the guy who tried to wind up here last night." Veronica kisses him under the chin. "There are so many forgotten, neglected parts of the body." She turns his head and kisses him behind his ear. "You smell different than you use to." 

"Maybe you've just forgotten what I smelled like."

"You used to have this faint scent of ocean water. Salt somewhere on your body or oozing from your pores. That's gone. You need to surf more."

"Truer words have never been spoken."

"Now you have a hint of fuel. And cinnamon." 

Logan thinks about the Big Red gum he chews daily and orders by the case through Amazon. He's surprised she can't smell the manmade fabrics of his flight suit. 

"And you still smell like marshmallows and promises." 

"I so don't. If I smell like anything, it's got to be home plate dirt." 

"I'm looking forward to getting to home plate with you."

"Keep 'em coming. There's not a baseball joke I haven't heard. More than once." Veronica lifts Logan's arms and runs her fingernails over the less tan side of his arms. "So many neglected parts," she says as she kisses the inside of his elbow. She reaches up and touches the sides of his face. "It's such a bummer you shaved. I was hoping to feel last night's stubble on my abs." 

"How about my rough hands instead?" he asks as he slides his fingers over her waist. 

"I seem to remember you also had a tongue that knew just what to do." Veronica kisses his lips for a long time anxious to feel his tongue on hers. She ends the passionate kiss with a bite to his lower lip. "And some teeth that were good at nibbling." Veronica disengages from his lap. "Please take off those boxers. The blue plaid is super cool, but they need to go." 

Logan lifts his hips from the bed and pushes the boxers off the bed. "Better?"

"Give me your hand." She takes his hand in hers and circles the skin at the bottom of his thumb. "See. Neglected. When was the last time someone touched you right there?" She kisses the curve between his thumb and finger. "Kissed you right here?"

Logan pulls her closer to him. "And when's the last time someone kissed your neck so long you moaned?" 

"Too fucking long."

"Let me make you moan, Veronica, for too fucking long." 

**********

Veronica reaches to the floor and grabs Logan's shirt and slips it over her head. She walks to the corner of the room and opens the cooler. She holds up three bottles, water droplets dangling from each. "Water, beer, or Coke." 

"Water." She walks back to the bed and props herself up on the pillows resting on the headboard. She opens her bottle, takes a drink, and sets it on the table beside the bed. 

"So, you want to be friends again?" 

"Friends, huh?"

"Yeah, I could really use a friend. A good friend. In the same state. Someone who knows all the shit that made me who I am." 

"I'd like that." 

"When I was running this morning, I was thinking about how much I miss having people I can confide in. People who've watched me make terrible mistakes and still want to have fun with me."

"Your position on the fun meter has gone up significantly since we entered this room." Logan turns to his side and looks at her. He pulls her down from her sitting position and kisses one cheek while rubbing his thumb over the other one. "I've missed you, Veronica. Did you ever think about me?"

Veronica untangles from him, walks to the desk, and paws through her purse. She tosses him her leather wallet and slips back into bed. 

"Just because you pay me, doesn't mean you can claim you've been with a hooker." 

"Open it. Middle credit card slot."

"I definitely don't take credit cards. Cash only. And tips aren't just appreciated, they're expected." Logan removes the card and his face turns to her questioning. "My fake ID?"

"I've carried it with me every day since I pocketed it from you at Hearst. I never go a day without having you near me. If I was ever robbed, I think that's what I'd miss most."

"Jesus, where were you when I was making the biggest mistake of my life?"

"Probably in Palo Boring Alto raising someone else's kid." 

"Was it so bad?"

"I guess not. I got a great education, but my roaring twenties were spent being ogled by Mat's friends and hit on by their dads while being scrutinized by their moms. All the mothers hated me, without saying they did, because, clearly, if I slept with Mateo's dad, that meant I'd sleep with all of their husbands."

"No offense, but it's pretty hard not to ogle you. You're hot as fuck."

"Did you learn that eloquent language at Hearst or in the navy? Or is that one of your standard lines you use on the women you pick up at ballparks?"

"All the good lines have already been taken."

"You're creative. Use that college education to impress me."

"You've known me too long for me to be able to impress you. This is it," he says pointing to his chest. "This right here in front of you. Impressive or not, it's all I've got."

"Did I not just show you how impressed I am? I'm not sure I could have been any more vocal of my good impression of you without management being called." She arches her eyebrows before kissing his chest. "Since I've been with Mat, I'm always trying to impress. Or, at least, give off a good impression. It seems like I always had to be the perfect hostess, the perfect nanny, because, technically, that's what I was, what I am. All these people looking for me to fall, to be able to shame me. Hell, they already try to shame me. I'm not even legit enough to be considered the bimbo stepmother. In their minds, I'm just the next student fling in Sai's long list of impressionable young women."

"Were they really shaming you or did you just feel like they were?"

"Doesn't matter. It's the same in my mind. I'm so tired of being vanilla. Tired of being even-keeled. Tired of being the voice of reason. Tired of avoiding any excitement that would draw attention. Tired of making sure Mateo's life is as perfect as it can be for someone with no parents." Veronica takes another long drink of water. "Mac and I had plans. OK, maybe they weren't totally realistic, but it felt good to have my own goals. After Stanford, I'd follow her to England, study at Oxford. Then I'd work for the UN or the EU or NATO or some other organization everyone knows by its initials. I'd fly her sweet children around to European capitals on long holiday weekends and be the coolest auntie on the planet." 

"You would be a cool aunt."

"So now I am actually an aunt, a step-aunt, I guess. My step-brothers, weird to even think of them like that, couldn't provide my middle name if they had to sign a death certificate for me and the step-nephews wouldn't recognize me if I was standing in front of them at McDonald's." 

"The beauty of dysfunctional families." 

"I know I'm complaining, and I have so much more than most people do, but I want to have my own life again. I want to have friends and exciting love and a few laughs each day. But there's also a part of me that wonders if I even know how to do that. I've been consumed with Mat for so long that I don't know how to extract myself from his world. His house is the only home I've had for several years. God, aren't I too young to be having a midlife crisis or empty nest syndrome?" 

"You are, _we are_ , still young. And you can still have the things you want. But I can't give advice on what to do with Mat. It's not my place."

"I don't need advice. I just need you to listen to me." 

"That I'll do. Any time."

"OK, cowboy, your turn to open up."

"Cowboy? Where'd that come from?"

"Just felt right. It is Rawhide country." Veronica takes a breath. "So, you're divorced."

"I hate to talk about this."

"But you've never talked about it to me. Maybe I'm the one who can make you feel better." 

"You do make me feel better." 

"Open up. It's good for the soul."

"Me have a soul? You must be mistaken." Logan sighs loudly. "What's the one thing I can't tolerate in a relationship?"

"Infidelity."

"Exactly. How can you know that immediately, and my ex didn't seem to realize it would be a problem?"

"Maybe she'd read the tabloids about your playboy reputation and thought you'd like an open marriage."

"I've got no problem with playboy reputations or screwing who you want whenever you want as long as things are casual. No commitment, no guilt. But once two people say they're going to be faithful, then it better be that way or there are going to be too many lies and too much drama. And if you want to start screwing other people, then have the fucking guts to actually say those words so the relationship can end before people look and act like fools." 

"I'm sorry she did that. Does it help that I've never met her and I'm already on your side?"

"You better be on my side." Logan kisses her shoulder. "And on top of me and below me." 

Veronica laughs as he kisses down her arm. "You're avoiding. Don't think I'm not noticing. I can't be distracted that easily." 

"Is that a challenge? I'd be happy to find another way to distract you." He slides his hand over her breast and to her stomach before Veronica latches onto it. 

"Stop avoiding. Continue."

"What more is there to say? She screwed more than one of my so-called friends. We had a rock solid prenup that she contested. That dragged out the divorce and the hard feelings for way more months than it should have." Logan turns away from Veronica and rolls onto his back. "I think what bothers me the most is knowing what I huge mistake I made. In the back of mind, I knew it was a mistake even before we got married, but I wouldn't let myself admit it. I told myself I could figure out a way to make it work. If it killed me, I'd prove I deserved the same kind of normal life the other pilots have. I didn't need to have passion and once-in-a-lifetime love as long as we could have normal. I thought I could fake my way to making it right." Logan rubs his eyes with the back of his hand. "Look, I understand it's hard being with me. I've got issues and baggage, but we all do. And when I say deployments are tough on relationships, I'm being kind. Yeah, it sucks not being together for months at a time, but she knew what she was getting into from the start. I guess we both did." 

Veronica moves her hand to his and locks fingers with him. "You and your job aren't to blame. Don't do that to yourself." 

"You know, this divorce was so awful that I'd decided it wasn't worth going through again. No more girlfriends, no more relationships. Back to the playboy reputation, as you called it. Then I'm sitting at a minor league baseball game in Bumblefuck, California, and there's your name on the scoreboard. You came out of the blue, out of the past to bring me back to life. Give me some hope again. How is it you're here? That we're here together?" 

"I've asked myself those same questions more than once these past two days. Are you my reward for all the years I've given to Mateo? There must have been an easier route back to each other." 

"Long way, shortcut, detours, whatever direction we had to take, it was worth it to find my way back to you again." 

Veronica kisses him. "There's one more direction I would like to continue to take. What was that you were saying earlier about me being on top of you?" She pulls herself up and slinks out of his shirt before pressing her warm chest and soft lips to his.

**********

Veronica steps out of the bathroom and looks around for her underwear. "Looking for something?" Logan points to the underwear on his lap. She nods her head and slips them on under her dress. "So, are you going to invite me to visit you in Palo Alto?"

"How about we spend some of that money your ex-wife didn't take from you and meet in Carmel? You could use some salt water in your pores. And I love to watch you strip off a wetsuit." 

"Man, I like the way you think. You really are the coolest person I've ever known. You name the time, and I'm there." 

"Next weekend? Weekend after that? Whenever you're free. If I study during the week, I can take weekends off or bring my books with me and study on the beach."

"I wish you could stay with me tonight." 

"You have to work. You wouldn't even see me."

"I'd see you when I get home. I could've cooked you breakfast. Kissed you before you hit the road. Kept you close for a few more hours." 

"Instead, I'll be sweating through another baseball game, and for the first time in a long time, I don't give a shit about the game or how Mateo does. And that's a surprisingly nice feeling. I'm even going to bring my book to read between innings." 

"Live dangerously, Veronica Mars." 

"I wish you didn't live quite so dangerously. Now I have one more thing to worry about." Veronica throws her book in her purse before they head out the door. "Not to sound needy, but this wasn't just a one-time thing was it? Are we really going to meet up again?"

"One time? I think you may have lost count because no matter what you were counting, that was not one time." Logan smiles at her and rests his hand on her lower back. 

"Show off."

"Fuck yeah, we're seeing each other again. First thing I'm going to do is to find us a place in Carmel. I prefer secluded." Veronica leans into him and he wraps his arm around her as they head into the elevator. 

"How about secluded with a side of excitement?"

"I'll see if they list properties with those specifications." 

As they walk out of the building, Veronica remembers what she saw earlier. "You know, when I went for a run this morning, Katie's car was in the parking lot." 

"Good for them. Glad it worked out. I won't let on that you told me." Logan wraps his arms around her and leans down to kiss her in front of her car door. "OK. You asked for it earlier. I'll try my best to give you an original line. Here goes. Ready? You're solid ground after a long deployment."

"You're a Sunday morning without any obligations."

"You're a Friday night at home after a long week of work."

"You're a favorite song on the radio." 

"You're aloe on a sunburn."

"You're sunglasses on a sunny day."

"You're a clean shirt on laundry day."

"You're a surprise compliment."

"You're the right time at the right place."

"You're a the last out in a no-hitter."

"You're my ocean."

"You're my long-lost friend found again." 

"Don't lose me again, Veronica." 

"Hang on tight this time. No matter what shit I say or do." 

**********

"Hand me another beer, will you?" Veronica asks from her side of the hot tub. 

"Wait a minute. Do I hear sirens in the distance? You've already reached your quota of 2 beers in one night. The beer police must be on their way." 

"Can I use the excuse of needing more carbs?" 

"Did you do something besides running today that burned calories?"

"If you're implying what I think you are, you don't get to ask that."

"Don't worry, I know the answer without you having to go into any details. I can read you. Please no details. Or I might be sick." 

"It's refreshing to be reminded that you harbor no romantic feelings towards your nanny/sister/mother-figure." 

"Try not to take this the wrong way, but there is very little about you that's even remotely attractive." 

"Ouch. My ego might not be able to take much more of this conversation." 

"You know what I mean. You slept with my dad. How fucked up would that be if I was interested in the same person as my dad? What kind of messed up family would do that?" 

"Oh, you naive young man." 

"So, do you really like this guy or is it just a one off?" 

"Have you ever known me to have a dirty weekend, especially with you as witness?" 

"I've never been quite sure how you've pulled off whatever it is you do with whomever you do it with without all of Stanford knowing about it. Hell, how do you do it without me knowing about it?" Veronica shrugs. "Does that mean he's going to be around again?" 

"I hope so. You never know what life is going to throw your way, but I like to think there might be reason to hope." 

"Who'd think we'd have to come to Visalia to get laid?"

"Pardon the pun, intentional or not." 

"Oh, it was intentional."

"Are you going to keep in touch with Katie?"

"Yeah, we've already been texting each other. Would've been nice to see her again before heading out tomorrow, but I can't worry about it. I've got games to think about." 

"You're a good kid, Mateo. You won't need me around much longer. You're going to be great. No matter what life puts in front of you."

"I'm glad life put you in front of me."

"You're front and center for me, kid. Front and center. Don't forget that. And don't worry about the future. No matter what happens, you'll always be able to find your way home."

**Author's Note:**

> I rewrote this story several times hoping to get the rhythm right. If you have feedback, please let me know in the comments section. Thank you for reading.


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